Something For Everyone

By The Big Guy

Senior Contributor

Ten pounds of stuff in a five pound blog. Here we go:

In cemeteries all across America life long postal workers are spinning in their graves. The United States Postal Service is cutting you off from your mail on Saturdays forever. That is unless it’s a package in which case nothing changes, or unless it’s sent to you via priority mail or express mail in which case nothing changes, or unless it’s prescription medication in which case nothing changes. Oh, and if you need to go to the post office to buy some stamps or mail some letters or ship a package on a Saturday nothing changes because post offices will still be open for your patronage. So it looks like what you will be missing come Saturdays beginning in August is no birthday cards or bills or junk mail being dropped in your mailbox. Suck it up.

Least important piece of worldwide news of this year, last year and next year: Monopoly has replaced the “iron” token with a “kitty” token. Seriously? 

Our neighbor to the north (no, not Milwaukee), Canada has done away with the penny. It’s amazing how efficiently Canadians seem to be able to get some things done. The government decided the coins cost more to make than they were worth and that businesses and banks lost millions of dollars each year having to process these almost worthless pieces of copper. So they’re gone. Canadian officials believe they will save about eleven million dollars a year by eliminating the penny. How come we can’t just do smart things like that here? Maybe if we eliminate Congress.

Trust me on this one. If you want to look smart at parties learn the definition and how to properly pronounce the word, “skeuomorph.” You can thank me later.

Fifty years ago this week an English group releases their first rock and roll record in America. It’s on a small record label headquartered in Chicago because the big Hollywood record company whose affiliate in London actually owns the record decides to take a pass. The record doesn’t climb any higher than position 35 on any local or national radio record chart anywhere in the country. The record is Please Please Me by The Beatles. Just thought that was interesting.

Finally, it has been said that eventually everyone in America will have his or her own TV talk show, which evidently has come to pass. It has come to my attention that this fall Arsenio Hall will be returning to late night television with his own talk show. So we are going to have to change the axiom to everyone in America will eventually have two TV talk shows. Line forms to the right for anyone who feels they were skipped first time around.

There, don’t you feel better?