By The Big Guy
Today’s Quiz: What word starts with a “c” and ends with an “s,” features people performing outrageous stunts, lots of wild animals, incredible jugglers and dozens of clowns? Of course the correct answer is Congress.
Outrageous stunts! Bring government activities to a halt and in the process jump the unemployment number up a couple tenths of a percent by instantly throwing eight hundred thousand hard working individuals out of a job. Not outrageous enough? How about affecting the livelihood of the people who sell those government employees bacon and eggs in the morning or a tuna salad sandwich and a Diet Mountain Dew off a mobile restaurant truck at lunch time? How about the family that took Grandma to New York so she could walk right up to the Statue of Liberty? Too bad, Granny. How about the family that saved up for a trip to Honolulu just so they could be awed by the solemnity of a boat ride out to the Arizona Memorial in Pearl Harbor? Sure hope you can see enough of it from the shore because that’s as close you are getting. Camping at Yosemite? You’ve been tossed. Heck, you can’t even read about it online because the National Park Service websites are shut down.
Wild animals! Watch Bachmann, the incredible dancing yak from Minnesota, as she snuggles up to World War II vets at their memorial, screaming in disdain at whoever put those nasty barriers up, hoping the vets don’t know it was done at her request. Or Neugebauer, the blame-shifting mope native to Texas, castigating a park service ranger for doing her job, the one that his actions caused her to perform against her wishes and then telling her she should be ashamed of herself for doing it. Wild indeed.
Incredible jugglers! Ah, the orange faced virtuoso from Ohio, trying to keep all his objects in the air at the same time. Apparently he has decided that under no circumstances will the cleaver of appeasement or the jumbo gavel of the house come close to touching the floor. If he’s going to allow anything to drop it will definitely be the box full of health care cards for the previously uninsurable or the paychecks for hundreds of thousands of workers who actually get their job done each and every day, unlike the juggler, his associates and assistants.
Clowns! Yes, the clowns. We’ve got ‘em. Eightly or so. Not a single brain amongst them. Not a thimble full of common sense. Not an inkling of what is meant by the phrase “the common good.” No threat to them getting fired from this job so why not act like a clown? Shooting seltzer down the pants of the electorate and enjoying every minute of it. Just remember, they’re laughing at you, not with you.
Enjoy the show.